So, since it is only about 15% likely that Dad will pay for a grave for Mom, and 100% unlikely that I will be able to afford one myself within the next five years (my savings plan will, if prices don't increase, take me 4 years), I have decided to start picking out an urn in which to store the ashes of my cremated loved one.
My first trouble with this is that all the fonts in which they do engraving are crappy, and the second trouble (perhaps MOAR SERIOUS) is that Mom and I had very different taste in decor.
So, do I get something SHE would've liked, or something *I* like and can tolerate having in my house?
Mom would probably want something like this:
Maybe not QUITE as tacky, like possibly not with the ceramic roses on the top (she, like me, would feel that they would be a bitch to dust... but she wouldn't say "bitch"), but seriously without those, this is pretty much her style. She was a giant fan of pink stuff.
She was also a huge fan of California poppies, so there's this...
...but then again the top is ugly, and she was UBER PICKY about pictures of California poppies actually being California
poppies, and I don't actually know how to tell if these are California poppies or just some sort of inferior impostor poppies. (Seriously, there is a door at the house with etched glass panels, and she made the etcher guy take the whole door back and re-do the panels with poppies on them
, because he got the stamens wrong or whatever. Whatever the difference is.)
So that could be an issue.
As far as the other urns I have seen online go, I am pretty much ok with something like this:
Except that IT COSTS $319.00 PLUS TAX AND DELIVERY. WHY. WHYYYYY. My budget is, no joke, like $50.
So then we come to the realization that I can't actually afford
a decent urn for my mother, and that makes me so. angry. Mostly at other people (like, why is Decent Brother, via Dad, not financing this; why didn't he get me something better than a plastic urn for her, or let me choose, or just in general why is he not more sensitive to the fact that this is a Big Deal?).
But then I am also wondering if I NEED to buy a "cremation urn?" Like, couldn't I just buy something at IKEA and glue it shut? What is the actualfax difference? (There could be a real, important difference, but I have no idea, having never dealt with this before.)
I mean, aside from the fact that this is transparent and will show her milled-down bone fragment "cremains," what would be wrong with this:
Or some other metal kitchen container? That would be ok, right?
Do please weigh in. Also food for thought: where to store her? Do not want her in my bedroom, yet may have a hard time convincing the housemates it's not creepy to keep her out in a common area. Similarly do not want to keep her in a box in the garage.